Everything was dickish and then got badass awesome all in one day.

Thursday last week was a big festery dick. A series of asshole events chipped away at my tough anti-bullshit exterior, All. Day. Long. When Blake picked me up from work, I was so livid, that not even the fact my BFF was about to fly in to my home city for a weekend of debauchery could make me crack a smile.

I went to the gym & tried to sweat some of the rage out. Mike (my personal trainer), likes to use my aggression to benefit my workouts. He gets me on the speed ball. I grit my teeth & hammer that bitch.While this worked momentarily, the anger returned ten fold when we got home & my husband asked what I was making for dinner. FUCK YOU man.

I sat on the couch absolutely seething. How dare he ask me what I'm making for dinner like I'm his wife or something. Get your own fucking dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And while you're there, make me some because I'm goddamn hungry.

With arms crossed so tightly I could feel my hands going all tingly from restricted blood flow, I sat on the couch in a silent rage watching the news.

The motel receptionist knocked on the door at 7pm to say she was going home & handed me our mail. As I returned to my angry wife news watching couch, I opened the mail. And this is when shit got awesome........

Hola muthafuckers, I won a trip to Cancun.

At this joyful news, I lept off the couch & bounced around the dining room table like a fat  kangaroo, while repeatedly mashing the letter into my face screaming 'We've WON. We've WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'. No seriously. You should see the state of this letter now. It looks like someone ate it, regurgitated it then put it through the wash.

Blake stood in the safety of the kitchen watching all of this. He thought I'd finally lost my shit for real.

After about 5 minutes of screaming my head off, I managed to stop for about 60 seconds which was long enough to hand him the letter to read then I was off again.

Then Blake joined in.

We ended up in the kitchen, yelling at no one in particular & fist pumping til our arms fell off.

So it seems, yes we are going to Cancun in April for 7 days. Everything paid for, including some bitchin' tours of the Mayan ruins, we just have to take our own spending money.

I have never been to South America. But it's something that I've always wanted to do. We are hoping to spend a day/night in LA & check out Hollywood. May as well while we are there.

I am so excited, I have suddenly developed minor ADHD & can not concentrate on anything for longer than about 30 seconds.

This nice news kicked off one of the best weekends I have had in forever.

Ra! Happy me. Pirate Hooker.

On Friday some mates & I went to Neudorf Vineyard for the Classic Hits Winery Tour. The weather was perfect, the bands kicked ass & I got completely wankered on wine. I even danced. And I never dance. It seems a bottle of Moutere Hills Pinot Gris will bring fun Becky to the yard.

As the night wore on, I got increasingly messy. We ended up taking our party into Mot town & ripping it a new one. This included me star fishing on the side of the road, Emma dropping the entire contents of her bag on the concrete about 5 times, Kylie discovering that she really liked stroking my ear because it's so soft & 2 big plates of fucking hot potato's which caused us to all get 3rd degree burns inside our mouths.

As I pryed my eyelashes apart on Saturday morning, I praised Jebus that it was only Saturday & I had 2 whole days to feel normal again before having to go back to work. Because holy shit I was hungover.

We must have robbed a service station of all it's snack food on the way home too because as I looked over the side of the bed, the floor was covered in chips. And pie wrappers. And I have gravy congealed all over my eating hand.

Kye & I spent the day floating in the ocean in Kaiteri.

Kye please don't hate me for putting this photo on the Internet. 

You may look corky but I still love you anyway.

Saturday night was quiet. Kind of. Kylie & I sat out the back garden of her mums place & talked/laughed our asses off til midnight. This may have something to do with the fact we smoked. Not cigarettes were just really happy. And shit got weird. I introduce to you, Nelson's very own Blanket Man.....

Blanket Man in the swing. Weeeeeee.

Blanket Man on the toilet.

Blanket Man in the shower.

Blanket Man hanging out the washing. 

Blanket Man & giant sunflower.

The mosquitos were biting me & it was a bit cold, so I found somewhere to hide. And it all just started from there. It was all slight bladder leakage & giggles at the time. In hindsight, looking at the photo's, not so much.

Sadly the weekend didn't end on a high note. Kylie was supposed to fly back to Wellington yesterday afternoon but we had to rush her mum to hospital in an ambulance early hours of Sunday morning. She's had to cancel her trip home til further notice.

So today I am sending massive love vibes & Becky prayers to Ma Lish.

If you read this post Kye, I love you so hardout & you know where I am if you need some mad hugs or a bitch to talk to. Cos I get you. And there is no one else on this earth I would let stroke me ear so lovingly in the back of Mr & Mrs Misters family wagon, you big lesbianess.

Hey you guys, how was your weekend? Anyone ever won anything random before?


 Peace & love,