Monday, January 17, 2011

Burlesque: My Review

First of all, my movie nerd friends will dis-own me for even making the effort to go & see this movie. However in my defence, I only went to perv at the really really hot vampire baddy from Twilight who happened to be one of the main characters in this movie.

This movie was A Grade crapola. The story line was typical small town girl moves to LA to try get famous & falls in love blah blah. The small town girl in question was none other than the blond singer with the mutant vocal chords, Miss Christina Aguilera who plays main character 'Ally'. Her acting skills were, to be kind, extremely below par. Although I will give her snaps for the singing & dancing. Dam that girl can sing. Cher, was not so terrible, but seriously she looks like a horse that's had way too much botox. I can't stand Cher's singing. I would rather lay down in the main street & have my head repeatedly ran over by a bus than listen to her sing. It's not that she's a bad singer, she is an iconic beast of a woman, & in her time she has whipped out some giant hits, my issue with Cher is that she looks & sounds like a tranny. I find that confusing.

I laughed out loud in some parts of this movie. Not because it was funny, but because it was so cheesy that it was hard not to laugh. I did have a genuine chuckle at the few well placed swear words. I like swearing & nothing pleases me more than hearing a good well timed f-bomb.

I did enjoy Tess's (Cher) quirky relationship with her right hand gay man 'Shaun' (Stanley Tucci).I actually didn't know he was gay for the first 3/4 of the movie. And I was really hoping the would realise they were madly in love with each other & bone. It seems that 'Shaun' likes boys. I was disappointed.

The one positive thing I have to say about this movie is that the choreography & music is fabulous. I love Burlesque. It's extremely sexy, naughty, yet tasteful. I believe inside every woman is a sex siren lurking in the shadows. The actual Burlesque scenes were visually stunning, aurally captivating & just down right hot. It made me want to be a Burlesque girl.

The highlight of the movie for my sister & I was this guy. HELLO!

He plays a tortured, down on his luck musician/barman at the Burlesque Club.Upon my accidental & strangely enjoyable viewing of  the epic tween movie Twilight, I came across this delightful man specimen. He kind of reminds me of a young Brad Pitt. And I don't usually get moisty over hot male actors but this guy is an exception. I don't care that he can't act. He is just really really nice to look at. Especially on a giant screen with his clothes off.

In summary, this movie is lame. But if you want to see some hot girls & boys (except tranny Cher) singing & dancing then be my guest. Personally I would rather stay home & get my husband to cook me dinner. Naked.

Peace & love
Becky xo


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