Monday, January 10, 2011

Sunday Afternoon Toilet Blockage

I am known among my family & close friends for being the one that uses half a roll of toilet paper every time I go to the toilet. I'm not ashamed of it. I just like to be 100% sure everything is clean. I think it actually stems from my childhood. My dad was completely over the top anal about the amount of toilet paper we used. He used to give my sister & I a mini seminar in the bathroom. 2 squares for number one's, 4 sqaures for number two's. Logistically I am at a loss to know how he accomplished the 4 square rule. I stood strong  as a child & to this day have never listened or obeyed his bog paper law. Bugger that.

When Blake & I got together I soon realised his toilet paper usage pretty much matched mine, which considering he is a male is rather odd. We were  obviously destined to be together.

Yesterday afternoon I blocked our toilet. I do it every now & then but it's never a major. I can usually sort it myself. However, yesterday afternoon, post toilet usage, our toilet got severely blocked. Like major blocked. I need a plumber kind of blocked.

So I went on a mission to find a plunger. I tried plunging. It didn't work.
I read on the Internet to try using a plastic bag over your toilet brush & plunge. I did that. It didn't work either.
I then tried a wire coat hanger. This was also an Internet suggestion.  They said to bend it like a snake. I don't even know what a snake really looks like? It took me a while to figure out how to use the coat hanger & it did involve me sticking my whole arm in the toilet. This also didn't work.
Please note, the toilet was filled with disintegrated toilet paper & water, no poos or wees.(still gross though). And there was a lot of disinfecting of skin.

Throughout this whole toilet blockage drama, my lovely husband stands at the bathroom door & watches me plunging away. Not offering to help at all. You see my Blake has a massive phobia of anything related to poo.
Especially other peoples. You would think, being his wife, he'd just try help me anyway. Nope.

Eventually, after about an hour of trying to sort the toilet out, we decided to go for a long walk in hope that while we were away the toilet might magically fix itself. This didn't happen.

So I have another go at plunging. By this stage I'm really pissed off. At myself for a start off for causing the blockage & at Blake because he is the man & should be helping me. He inched ever so cautiously into the bathroom to make sure I was plunging right. I didn't realise there was a technique. Apparently there is.
It was at this time, while he's peering over my shoulder, that I accidentally do a plunge that makes toilet water shoot directly over my shoulder & into his face. It was the funniest thing I have seen in ages. He was so mad & I was literally rolling on the bathroom floor absolutely hosing myself. He says 'You hit me in the face with your shit water' then jumps in the bath & starts spraying his face with water from the shower hose. Fully clothed.

After he's all cleaned up we pretty much admit defeat & decide we will ring a plumber the next day because it would probably be cheaper than a weekend call out. We live at a Motel, there is another bathroom facility for us to use in the meantime. 

As it turns out, later that evening while I'm cooking dinner, unbeknown to me Blake sneaks off to the bathroom & gives our lav a good old man plunge & he manages to unblock it. Crisis averted. 

The lesson learnt today was maybe I really do use way too much toilet paper & that there are some things that men can do better than women. Plumbing is definitely not a talent of mine.

Peace & love
Becky xo


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