Unfortunately there are many women out there that aren't as lucky. And being a lady who has a rather large pair of luscious boobies, & also enjoys owning said pair of boobies, Breast Cancer is one plight I'm always willing, without hesitation, to wave my flag proudly for.
Here are 10 reasons why I really dig having lady lumps.
- I can hide things down there. Like my cellphone. My credit card. Snacks. Jewels. Guitar Plectrums. Flick knives. Tazers.
- When my hands get cold in winter, I can bury them in my cleavage.
- My husband can use them as a comfortable twin pillow to cushion his weary head on a long haul flights.
- My husband can also utilise them for other fun 'activities'.
- I can use them as a bullet proof chest if someone wanted to shoot me. I am 65% certain they would protect my vital organs.
- When I do eventually lactate, the NZ Government could send me on a Humanitarian mission to Africa where I could nourish thousands of starving African babies. Cos I know my girls are gonna be epic when I sprout a crotchling.
- When I lose an earring, & all you whores know what I'm talkin bout, & you end up unknowingly walking around all day with one earring in like a pirate, I always find the escapee earring buried deep in my cleave when I take my bra off at bedtime.
- Apart from feeling like someone has stuffed a bag full of cornflakes down my cleavage every time I eat crackers, it's a great hiding place for food. It gets hot down there so chocolate, or anything melty is no good. Sometimes, when I remove my bra before I go to bed, a 3 course meal falls out on to the floor.
- My boobs are well behaved. Except for when I am at the gym. Then they begin to behave like two escaped mental patients. I can't control them. And much to my personal trainers embarrassment, I spend most of my time during my work out sessions trying to keep the girls inside my shirt. It's hard work. Especially when I'm trying to slam a right hook into Mike's left spar pad & with each punch, I get punched in the chin by one of my own tits. It's like taking a pair of naughty twin convict children to play in the park. I can not relax because as soon as my backs turned, one of them escapes.
- Much like not wearing pants at home, not wearing a bra also feels awesome. You give me 20 years, & I will be that old bird standing in her kitchen naked stacking the dishwasher.
Some girls in my blog hood are doing something tres rad to show their support & help raise awareness/money for those that suffer/have suffered from Breast Cancer.
What better way to raise money by posting various photos of fellow Bloggers with their boobs out. Of course it's anonymous, but if you want to be a part of the first annual Whose Boobs - Bloggers for Boobs event, then go to Angie's page & find out wha ya gots ta do.
link to find out more about what I'm crackin on about.
I've been quiet this last week.
I'm too sad to write. Heartbroken even.
My best friends mum is dying. I have sobbed uncontrollably many times over the last few weeks. Overwhelmed with sadness for my beautiful soul sister Kylie, & for her lovely mum who has been like a second mum to me for a very long time.
Kylie & I met by chance when she was 7 & I was 10, in a little pokey ass NZ town called Reefton. Over the better part of a couple of decades, our friendship has flourished into something so amazing that I can hand on my heart say, I will NEVER have a connection like I have with this girl with any other human being on this planet. Not even my own husband. Me & Blake have a different kind of connection. Just as powerful, but different.
You see, the thing with me & Kye is, we get each other. We have this unspoken understanding. She may live in another part of NZ, but dam do I know when she's having a shithouse day. I feel it in my core. And vice versa.
We have seen each other through the respective deaths of my step dad/her dad, health problems, weight issues, addictions, miscarriages, marriage/relationship dramas & all of life's other bullshit. She stood beside me & cried happy tears on my wedding day while I promised to love my husband for the rest of my life. She stood in front of all my friends & family at the reception & told them how much she loves me.
She is my golden girl & the love I possess for this girl is so fucking massive I can't even put it into words.
And right now, she needs me. Maybe not in a physical sense, but she needs my emotional strength, & the strength of others to help her through what is going to be the hardest thing she has ever had to go through.
Kylie, if you read this, I am here for you babe & my heart is so heavy with sadness for you right now. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I got your back. Surround yourself with people who love you. And know, when the time comes, I will be standing beside you squeezing the shit out of your hand.
Close your eyes, listen to this song. It's from me to you. Let your heart hear it.
I love you my china x
If any of you out there in the world have some spare time in the next few days, say a little quiet prayer for my soul sister & her Ma. She needs to feel the love right now, more than ever before.
Peace & love