The guys who lease the back office of my work keep giving me chocolate. This is bad for two reasons.
1. My ass is fat. No really, I'm not one of those skinny bitches with a false body image that constantly claims their ass is fat. Mine actually is. It doesn't need no chocolate.
2. Behind every random gift giving moment is a motive. Especially if it comes from a male. I don't know what he wants & I think I want to keep it that way. If anyone wants a Mars Bar, let me know, it's yours. I've already told my ass it can't have it. It's currently sulking beneath my quivering bulk.
Right, moving on to my blatant non motive gift giving.
The winner of this months Winner Wednesday wicky wick motherfucking wicked prizes of awesome (if it was any more awesome I would be making your computer screen explode in your faces right now)..........
Please flick me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with your address & I will get that whacky loot out to you asap.
So NZ Beer company, Tui Brewery, is having a competition for their 'Yeah Right' billboards. I love me a good competition & I thought I would rule at this (like, of course), so decided to have a bit of a play round & see what I could come up with. Behold, Becky's Billboards
I'm actually overcome with an urge to spam the shit out of Tui with my kick ass billboard ideas. I need you whores to help me. And I know some of you are batshit funny so go hard, dazzle me with your fuck wittery in the comments below.
P.S I am lovin hard on this song below right now. Because I believe that sharing is caring I have out it here for all ya'll to listen to. I was initially revolted with the opening shot of his scary man feet & then the music took over & filled me with joy. I like that I can't pronounce his name & I like that I can't stop looking at his teeth when he sings the loud bits.