|This hooker is not the real |
|Not my Warehouse either but the sky was that blue & cloudless|
Bad Ass Mum: "If you are going to be a silly, you won't be having this pony" *hold up My Little Pony again & waves it back & forth as if to tantalize the girl. I have witnessed this first hand with both of my nieces. When they want chocolate, there ain't no toy in the world you can bribe their asses with.
Rainbow Fairy: "hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ug ug ug" *sniff
Bad Ass Mum: "Come on, stop being stupid" *with the ultimate poker face. I don't know how she did it.
Frenchie: *Little sis pokes her head from behind mum's legs, waves her diva hand from side to side & says "Yeah stop being stupid!"
Rainbow Fairy: "reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa weird gurgle noise ooooooooooooooooooooo" *sniff sniff
Bad Ass Mum: "We talked about this before we came in to the shop. Didn't I tell you that if you played up you wouldn't be getting a special treat?!" "Dad will be angry with you when we get home".
Boom, bring out the big guns. Nothing gets the sirens wailing like the threat of angry dad.
Frenchie: "Yeah no special treat for you. You naughty" *pointing finger at tantrum throwing Rainbow Fairy sister
Rainbow Fairy: *slapping the concrete floor with her little angry hands "ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeee gurgle gurgle sniff eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
Her cry reminded me of Ludo off The Labyrinth when he starts his call to the rocks once Sarah & co reach the Goblin City. (haven't seen it? I suggest you watch it. Bowie in Lycra with a major mullet. Oooh. Actually Bowie looks minga in this movie but I was young & had no experience in manly hotness). This is Ludo. He's my friend.
By this stage I am pissing myself. It's the funniest shit I have seen all week. Rainbow fairy has no idea that she currently has a captive audience of about 30 people & is bringing the fucking house down. Blake & I look at each other & absolutely hose ourselves. She's cracking major shits for the chocolate yo. Never have a I witnessed a more convincing & emotive performance.
I don't remember doing so but I manage to pay for my goods & exit the store while not taking my eyes off Rainbow Fairy.
They left the store the same time as Blake & I. Bad Ass Mum & Frenchie are walking 7 superior steps ahead of Rainbow Fairy. She is dragging her feet behind them crying her fucking guts out, while the A Team stalk off in front of her. Hoping maybe Bad Ass Mum might just change her mind last minute, go back in to the store & buy the chocolate bar. I love how kids will always keep hopefull.
Bad Ass Mum: "I told you what would happen if you carried on like this. You will not be getting your toy when you get home"
Frenchie: "Yeah no toy for you naughty!"
Rainbow Fairy: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA sniff gurgle WAAAAAAAAA
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!" *nearly gets hit by oncoming carpark traffic.
She's been defeated by the A Team & given up the fight.
I laughed all the way to the car. Amongst our mirth, Blake & I both turned to each other at the same time & said 'FUCK that'.
I bought some new trainers today. I love them. And possibly don't really need them but they were half price & my other ones aren't so flash anymore. Women don't need an excuse to buy shoes. I know all my bitches out there in blog land are going to back me the hell up on that one.
Blake & I then went out for lunch to the cafe he used to work as a chef. It was a really nice day, hanging out with my man, doing husband/wifey shit.
I'm already in my pyjama's & it's only 5pm. I'm going to have a quiet night in, make some lemonade scones & watch some TV. Then tomorrow I'm going to Ecofest.
A couple of things before I go..........
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me best girl Kylie. I love you heaps & wish I could be there to help celebrate your birthday with you xx
Thank you to everyone for your kind messages of love & support following my sad post the other day regarding my Dad's wife. Cancer affects families all around the world. I'm cyber hugging the shit out of each & everyone of you.
Lastly, I saw an elderly man in the supermarket on Thursday night. He was an overweight old guy. I quietly cheered him on inside when I saw him off load a large bottle of calorie free soda onto the conveyor belt. I didn't cheer him on so quietly inside when he then loaded about 200 Moro Bars behind the calorie free soda.
I turned to Blake & said what the fuck is he going to do with all those Moro Bars? We came up with a few ideas.
- Maybe he has 200 grandchildren & there's a family reunion coming up.
- Maybe there's a competition going on where you can win awesome shit from buying Moro Bars. He was just trying to up his chances.
- Maybe they were for him & his friends to share on Thursday night Coronation Street party?
- Maybe he has 200 cats with chocolate addictions.
- Maybe they are xmas presents for all his facebook friends.
- Maybe he was opening his own candy shop & was purchasing stock.
- Maybe he was sending some to his grandson overseas? Those funny kiwis love there Moro's bro & you can't buy them anywhere else in the world.
- Maybe he moonlights as chocolate Santa?
- Maybe he is a hardcore stoner & is topping up his munchy stash?
- Or maybe, he's going to eat them all himself because he doesn't have a bitch ass wife to grind his chops about the diabetes?
I am putting together an awesome prize pack for this months winner Wednesday competition.
It will be drawn on the 1st Of September.
Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters - so dam rad I have nothing to say about them at all.
RoboCup Measuring Cup Set - Breaks up into measuring cups.
Aracade Salt & Pepper Shakers - So geeky cool
Shitlist Note Pad - Make your very own shitlist.
Knuckle Duster Stress Beater - Squeeze the shit out if it when your boss gets up in your business or your kids kick you in the balls by accident
To enter, you must be a follower of my blog on blogspot. Other than that, read T&C's here.
Have a bitchin weekend!