Monday, August 1, 2011
I sms'd my husband that I missed him & he replied 'LOL'. Dang bitch. You could atleast have put a sad face on it.
Just so ya'll know, I'm still lurking round these parts. I'm reading your blogs & loving your comments but sadly have no time to actually sit & write anything interesting myself. As of right this minute, I feel like someone took my brain outta my skull, rape it, fill it with piles of shit & put it back in my head, but not before beating it with a piece of 2x4 while being slammed in a door. Over & over & over again. One can only assume that what I just described is not a fun time.
I'm borderline stroking. Not that a stroke is funny business. Cos it's not. I just can't think of anything to relate it too.
I'm in Wellington. Working really hard. Helping the cab company I work for stay afloat after a massive restructure within the epicentre of the business. I am stressed the fuck out right now but I'm coping. I scratched my forehead so hard this afternoon for about half an hour & it wasn't even itchy. I made it bleed.
I'm hanging off the edge of sanity. But I still here. And I have a small & somewhat vulgar confession to make.
Today, for the first time in the history of my adult life, I could not shit at work.
Yes way Mcaully Culkin from Home ALone. I couldn't do it. Let me explain.
I am not working in my office at present. I'm on foreign territory. It seems my colon is too afraid to mud one out in anothers place of work. I can only put this down to the fact that my sphincter has terribly good manners? Never did I think I would see the day when I got shit fright. I've felt sick on the inside all day. Mainly because I really wanted to do one but couldn't.
In my office, I work alone. I am a lone wolf. But where I am at present, I am part of a wolf pack. A wolf pack of stranger wolves. When someone departs the room to go make wees or poos, everyone knows where you're going. Even my Lightening McQueen speed dump skill's is not match for these big city folk. I got shy bitches. My outside self is not shy but for some reason my inside self doesn't want to keep up. I've felt sick all day. My shitometer is all up the wazoo & I'm so confused.
Well I was.
You will be pleased to know I have just had some much needed relief at my BFF's house. Thank Christ.
I am going to stop now, before I lose all my followers. Please don't leave me. I need you funny whores right now.
THe winner of my monthly giveaway is comment number 51.
Please adding up of comments starts from comment one of first post of the new month.
Jules I will catch up with you when I get back from Wellington.
This months prize will be announced in Wednesdays blog. That is of course if I haven't stroked by then.
Posted by Bexstar at 9:52 PM