Friday, May 6, 2011

ashes to ashes. dust to dust.

I am having a funeral for my arms. They have officially died. I had my first PT session at the gym today with a girl a couple of years my junior. She did mean things to me. Well she actually made me do mean things to myself which at the time I found strangely enjoyable. This has left my arms feeling like they no longer have any life in them. I can't lift them even 2 inches from my side & if Blake even so much as breathes on them I will karate chop in the head with my foot. This temporary disability has it's advantages because right now Blake is in the kitchen cooking me dinner.

I have never really like liked personal trainers, along with gyms, but I liked this girl. The first thing she said to me when we were introduced by the gym manager was 'I know you from somewhere' which without sounding like a wanker, I hear ALL the time. There is some other female human around this small city of mine who looks like me & god help her she better be cool.

Once me & PT got the niceties out of the way she put me through a rigorous weights training session. She knew her stuff & I was impressed. She praised me for my super human leg muscles to which I replied there has to be some pluses about having giant tree trunk legs. We talked, & laughed, & she said shit twice which made me like her even more. I was so endorphined up that she could have asked me for a million dollars & I would have handed over my wallet & insisted she take everything I have. I think I left with a bit of a girl crush on her. She has set me up with a workout plan which I intend on seeing through. If my arms will ever work again. I tell ya, this gym thing really isn't so bad at all.

I've lost 7oo grams this week taking my total weight loss to 8.7kg. I am so proud I feel like writing to the news paper.

My weight watchers leader lady came into City Fitness on Thursday afternoon while I was there. It was awkward. Kind of like banging into your school teacher out of school time. She waved, I waved back. All is right with the world. Except for my dead arms. May they rest in peace.



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