|Annie in the orphanage|
|That lady & the Von Trap children|
Fast forward to my future self. I would rather have a grenade full of tacks shoved up my jacksie than sit through a musical. I blame my journey to adulthood. It changed me.
I hate ALL musicals. Except for Glee. I know. What the fuck.
Every Friday night, it is unwritten law in my household that I get all control of the TV between the hours of 7:30 - 8:30pm. There is no compromise. If anyone dares to challenge me, the mother of all shitstorms reigns down in Becky town.
I watched the first episode of Glee purely out of curiosity. The crew on the E channel were all up in Glees ass & I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. First impressions, being the devoted musical hater that I am, were less than average. I sat & yelled for the whole episode about what utter shit rot it was while Blake watched on in amusement. Yet the following Friday night, there I was, sitting on the couch with baited breath waiting for the next episode. I just couldn't stop myself. It was like discovering a new type of crack.
The thing I like about Glee is that it covers all the bases. Bullying, teenage pregnancy, homosexuality, OCD, unrequited teenage love, sex & mainly how much it sucks ball bags being a teenager. None of that applies to me anymore seeing as I have now have fully lady lumps & a nicely serviced fan-dang-a.
However, in this majorly fucked up world we live in, Glee provides positive messages for young people & for that I am willing to be a non musical hater for at least 1 hour every week. Plus it just straight up makes me happy?
I am now going to bore you with a descriptive list of some of my favourite & not so favourite characters from the show.
I don't like Kurt. He has an unnaturally high voice for a brother. When he has a solo, I put the TV on mute because if I don't, I will probably stab myself in the ear with a screwdriver. Plus he cried like a bitch when the warbler bird died. It's fucking bird dude. Chillax.
The only thing about Rachael that's hip is the fact she has 2 gay dads. She dresses like a granny & is another character in the show that makes me mute my TV. The girl has a mean set of pipes on her but ick, constant emotional over sung ballads make me honk. Plus she is rat shit at keeping her men. FAIL.
Noah Puckerman the bad ass delinquent Jew boy. He oozes naughty cool & is a little man whore. If I was 17 & back at high school, he would be the guy I would want to get all up on. And he loves fat bottom girls.
Sue Sylvester, the severely unhinged coach of the cheer leading team. She is my hero. Her acid tongue taunts & harsh one liners are pure gold. She stole my heart right from the very beginning when she said "I'm going to ask you to smell your armpits. That's the smell of failure & it's stinking up my office" & her chronic overuse of the name 'Butt chin'.
I love Mercedes. She's like a black Mariah (even though I actually hate Mariah). She is a sassy take-no-shit diva & when she sings I get a little bit excited on the inside. Her voice gives me goosebumps.
I also love Artie. Anyone that can still dance better than me whilst confined to a wheelchair is the bomb diggady. Plus he has lovely teeth & sings like a man angel.
I told Blake if he ever told anyone that I am a religious follower of this programme I would rip his lips off & use them as a headband. However, I am beginning to discover that I'm not the only grown up that hangs out for a dose of this show every week.
Tell me, are you a Glee Hater or A Glee lover like me? There is no wrong answer to this question. I promise I will never write about Glee again.
What you've just read is this weeks 'I'm a Winner Wednesday' post.
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The pirate booty this week is............
1 x Maybelline Eyelash Studio in Blackest Black - I use this all the time. It's a little pot of gel eyeliner that you draw on with a little brush. It will give you the mean as hooker eyes. If of course that is the look you strive for. Seriously though, I am big on sexy eyeliner & this product is fab.
1 x Orly Mini Nail Polish in 'Witch's Blue' - I love Orly nail polish's. And yes I own this colour too.
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